MAT LLOYD

Poet, Spoken Word Artist, Skateboarder...

Self doubt at 35,000 feet


No one is a bigger critic of my work than me, no one.  Even as I sit on a plane on my way to the International premier of 'We Can Fly' in Vienna, a documentary celebrating creativity in skateboarding.  A documentary that I'm featured in, I'm still constantly wondering, 'Why am I here, my work isn't good enough, how the hell have I managed to blag it this far?'

The self doubt can be crushing, and it often is, but I've learnt to manage it.  I'm self medicating with a defiant level of positivity.  A metaphorical middle figure to the doubt that burns inside.  Some days it even fuels me, and whilst the self doubt is definitely still winning, I'm getting better.

I don't think I'll ever rid myself of the doubt.  The feeling that I'm an imposter, that I'm not good enough, but neither will I let it win.  I know what these feelings are and I've met many other creative people who struggle with the same self doubt I do.

We've just got to keep giving it the middle figure and using the self doubt to fuel the fire that keeps us moving forward.

"Original post written on 6th of October on EasyJet flight to Vienna"

Share this:

JOIN CONVERSATION

    Blogger Comment

0 comments :

Post a Comment